British Pie
by teenxangstxlauren
Summary: A movie from Fred and George on graduation night gets Hermione thinking about the real goals of kids leaving Hogwarts, and decides to follow through with a wicked plan of Harry's that neither of them could predict the repercussions of.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione Granger was frustrated. She was unbelievably frustrated, in more ways than one. Here she was, sitting, like always, with her very best friends, Harry and Ron, at the giant table conjured in the common room to service the graduation party's activities. Hermione was sitting at the head of the table, nearer the back of the common room and away from the current game of beer pong, Harry at her right hand and Ron on his. She was aware that Harry was chatting to her about something inconsequential and stupid, while Ron looked longingly at the beer pong betting pool being run by Parvati Patil.

"Harry," She said, "I'm sorry I haven't even really been listening to the conversation, what were we talking about again?"

"Er, I'm not sure I was just opening and closing my mouth and moving my tongue," Hermione wasn't sure why this made her almost giggle, "Whatever was spewing forth can't have been very interesting and -" Harry was cut off by a snogging couple, vaguely resembling Ginny and Dean, staggered past them knocking Hermione's drink to the ground. Hermione wondered if everyone was having the same thoughts as the actors in that stupid movie Fred and George had sent from Diagon Alley for the graduates to watch at graduation, American Pie. Shag before you leave school! Hermione, however, was sure that most of the student body had already accomplished that by sixth year. Except or her, of course. And Ron, who only went to snogging with Lavender, and then her, not for lack of trying, though. Harry, well she wasn't sure about Harry. 

Maybe it was the butterbeer or maybe it was her overwhelming curiosity, but Hermione asked him, "Harry, have you ever er, shagged anyone before?" Harry visibly choked on his butterbeer.

"No, I mean who in this school could I have possibly shagged?" He said, laughing lightly, still looking shocked. Hermione not-so-subtly nodded toward the slow progress Ginny and Dean were making up the stairs. "Oh! Ginny? Uh, I never, uh, well she tried but I just…It's special you know? And I was…scared. And well…Why do you ask anyway?" He finished rather lamely, repositioning himself in his seat so he could properly talk to her. Hermione noticed, then, that Ron had given in and joined the beer pong tournament.

"Well, that movie, American Pie, from Fred and George. It got me thinking and I realized everyone really is trying to leave their virginities where they leave their school books. I guess I just never recognized it before." Hermione could tell she had her "thoughtful look," as Harry called it, again.

"Hermione," Harry started nervously, "You don't have to, erm, answer if you don't want to, but have you ever, um, you know, shagged anyone?" Hermione burst out laughing. "Wait, what's so funny?" Harry asked, a smile creeping up onto his lips.

"Harry, you're asking me? What bloke in their right mind would want to be with Hermione Granger like that? Once we leave Hogwarts we'll meet so many different people and, I guess it's the same as you, I'm scared." She was still chuckling half-heartedly even if her eyes now looked sad.

"Hermione, you're asking the wrong question. What bloke wouldn't want to be with Hermione Granger like that?" Harry said, softly and with completely sincere eyes. Oh, those eyes, Hermione knew those eyes so well, the ones that tell her what he's feeling, when he's confused, or when he needs someone to pick him up, dust him off, and tell him everything will be alright. Those eyes, wait, there was something different in those eyes now. "Hermione," he started again, "I had an idea, and I'm sorry if it's completely out of line, maybe it's the butterbeer, maybe it's what you said about American Pie, but since you haven't and I, er, haven't, and we're both completely scared of being used, or being hurt, why don't we, uh do it." He looked up from here he was playing with his hands on top the table into Hermione's shocked and immobile face. "Oh bollocks, I was completely out of line, I'm sorry Hermione I just -" Harry was cut off again by Hermiones finger on his lips.

"I think that idea is the best one I've ever heard. Ever." She said, smiling that one Hermione smile that could light up a room. "And, I know the perfect place." She grabbed his hand then so she wouldn't lose him through the mass of partiers/house orgy partakers, but even when they were safely through the portrait hole, he didn't let go of her hand. They had held hands before, on many different occasions, and he had always welcomed her closeness. Harry let Hermione lead him through the halls, and finally through a secret passageway he had found back in third year that led to the Quidditch pitch.

"If you don't like it, I mean, I just thought since we have so many memories here, it was just -" This time it was Hermione being cut off by Harry.

"I think this place is the best one I've ever been in. Ever." He smiled as he said that and Hermione's knees collapsed on her for some strange reason, forcing Harry to catch her. He led her over to the corner of the field, where the walls dividing the field from the crowd were. He sat down, and so did she. "Hermione, I want you to know I trust you, more than anyone else, and I can say we can only do this if you trust me the same." Harry's voice had become somewhat rougher when he reached the "more than anyone" part, and Hermione wondered what it meant.

"Harry, would I be here if I didn't trust you the same way? You're my best friend, and I'm your good friend." Hermione reassured him. Harry then murmured something that sounded like best, and Hermione's thoughts went blank except for his name. He looked up from where he playing with her hands and they locked eye contact. He leaned in, she leaned in, and after what felt like forever, their lips touched, Hermione's small, soft ones on Harry's slightly rough, sweet ones.

Hermione had been snogged before, but never like this. This kiss was sweet, tender, almost…loving? He brought her bottom lip between his and ran his tongue over the top of it. She opened her mouth under his and their tongues tangled and explored. Hermione felt like she couldn't breathe. She pulled back from him, her body becoming so hot she felt like she was on fire. Harry's eyes were still closed, as if he was savoring the memory.

"Where did you learn to kiss like that!" He asked her, incredulous. "It was, wow. Just wow."

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Hermione replied.

"I've never been so…I guess, confident then when I was kissing you, Mione. It was…wow." Harry looked dumbstruck. Hermione gave him a look that told him she meant the same as he did. "Chemistry?" Harry asked. Hermione chuckled and grabbed his face in her hands to bring his down for another kiss. He rolled on top of her, but then rolled to the side. Hermione again got the feeling that her body was on fire. She need more. She took one of his hands, from where it was on her waist, and pulled it up to rest under her breast. They locked eyes, and Hermione knew there was no turning back, because after this, she would die if she had to stop. Harry was just so…hot. She had never thought about her best friend Harry like that before but it was true, he was hot. Who would've known? Harry raised his hand and cupped her breast, squeezing gently. Hermione could hardly hear but knew she had made a cat-like sound, which seemed to confuse him. Harry didn't know if what he was doing was good or bad., so Hermione took that decision out of his hands when she took his other hand from it was on her neck, to her other breast.

"More, Harry, please." She mumbled, panting.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione could tell he was turned on, the evidence was pressing against her thigh. He took both his hands and gripped her breasts. It was obvious he could feel her hard nipples poking his palm and was reassured. He squeezed again, and Hermione made that cat sound again. His fingers drifted down to her nipples and he lightly squeezed them through her shirt and bra. Hermione could feel his even harder erection on her thigh through his jeans. She scrambled to pull his jumper over his head and, once it was off, ran her fingers over his smooth, only lightly muscled chest. "At least kicking Voldemort's arse was good for something," she whispered into his chest. Harry grinned and started unbuttoning her shirt. He spread her shirt to her shoulder so he could look at her. Hermione arched her back so he could reach behind her to unclasp her bra. He had trouble with it at first, then finally popped it open and carefully removed it. Hermione knew she didn't have huge breasts like Ginny and Parvati, but Harry seemed to appreciate them just the same. He made eye contact again and she gave him a smile that was all the permission he need. Harry kissed her on the mouth, a hungry, passionate, wild, but still sweet kiss. It was Harry's whole personality playing out in her mouth. He lifted his head up and looked at her before dropping a kiss on her forehead, a completely Harry gesture. Harry kissed down her neck and looked up her again.

"Hermione, I've never done this before, and I don't know what you, er, like." He started nervously.

"Harry you've had no problem with that up until now." She smiled at him before taking her wand from her pocket, conjuring a blanket on the ground, muttering an Unnoticeable and a Silencing Charm. She then kissed him, letting him know she was ready. Ready to go all the way. "I trust you Harry." Harry then attacked her mouth again and kissed her earlobe, licking it and nipping slightly. He kissed her shoulders, her collarbone and worked up the nerve to kiss her between her breasts. She moaned softly and he started planting wet kisses all over her breasts. He kissed her nipples, sucking on them, even rubbing then with his teeth. Hermione wondered, if he had never done this before, how did he know exactly what would drive her crazy. She could feel his (if it was even possible) even harder erection pressing insistently against her arse now.

Hermione decided to take charge and flipped Harry over so she was sitting close to his knees now. She leaned over him, letting her breasts rub his chest and he moaned. She kissed him, hard, letting her tongue tangle with his against and she moved her hands farther and farther down his chest, fingers pulling lightly at the hair that trailed down towards her goal. Harry moaned again and it sent shockwaves of desire rippling through her, She reached the button in his jeans and opened it, unzippering as she went. Hermione lifted herself up and pulled his jeans down. Harry kicked them off under her, now only in his black boxers. She leaned down again to kiss him, this time letting her stomach rub his hard penis. She came back up, letting her breasts sway before him before pulling his boxers down little by little. She grabbed his cock and stroked him, again and again.

"Hermione, if you keep that up, it will be done before it's started." Harry begged her in a strangled voice. He picked her up off of him and s laid her down next to him, reaching for the button on her jeans. He kissed her again and again as he unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them down, revealing her embarrassingly wet panties. With anyone else she would be blushing, but with Harry she was just…extremely turned on. Harry is sexy. My good friend, Harry, is sexy. And naked. And we're going to shag. And Harry is sexy. Woah, when did all this happen?

"Harry you're bloody hot." She purred to him, unaware how hot he found her right now. Harry kissed her passionately as thanks, his tongue thrusting in and out in time with hers. Hermione thought she would die from the frustration of her throbbing center. Harry pushed down her panties and made eye contact again. "Harry, I trust you, I want you, no need you. Now." Harry's evident bulge tented his boxers even more. Hermione had to say, Harry was big. Not outrageously big, but bigger than average, bigger than she expected, and still perfect. She glanced down at his cock again, and the simple stare made it twitch. Hermione sarcastically said, "I guess they'll have to pay up. Lavender and Parvati thought Ron would be bigger."

"You've seen Ron's?" Harry asked incredulously. Hermione giggled, and Hermione doesn't giggle.

"No it's just, I can't see Ickle Ronniekins being bigger than you." Harry seemed really puffed up about this and when he went to remove her panties he did so with more confidence than he would have. Hermione could see Harry was staring at her, but not just her breasts and pussy, all of her. Especially her face.

"You're beautiful, Hermione." He told her softly. Hermione felt tears coming to her eyes, but he kissed her and they were gone. Harry's hand snaked down her body, finally reaching her wet pussy. He dipped one finger in, stroking her inside slowly. He took his finger out again and put another in with it. He started pumping harder, harder. Hermione could tell she was panting and moaning but right now, she didn't care. He lowered himself and kissed her, right at the source of her wetness.

"Harry! Yes, more, Harry!" Harry got this smile on his face, and licked her right on her clit. Hermione had never felt this before, and now she was afraid she would die if he ever stopped. Harry was now swirling his tongue, in her, on her, and, oh, right there, "Oh, Harry! Don't stop!" Harry began with those hands of his again, touching, stroking, pumping, still kissing and licking, nipping. Hermione knew she was close and then, it hit her. Her orgasm hit her with the force of a Norwegian Ridgeback. She was distantly ware she was screaming his name, and he was watching her and stroking himself.

"That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen," Harry looked awestruck. Hermione jumped on him then grinding her still wet pussy against his hard, huge cock. "Hermione," he groaned, "I need you. I need to be inside you." Hermione laid herself out for him, and kissed her hard. "I'm sorry if I hurt you tonight Hermione. You know the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you." He grabbed his penis and positioned it at her entrance. He pushed himself in, and Hermione could feel herself stretching for him. There was discomfort, a lot of it, but no pain. She could tell Harry was controlling himself for her, and knew it was hard for him. She started moving her hips and could feel Harry moving back in time with her. They got the rhythm and any discomfort was gone. Hermione thought she would die from the pleasure. Harry was pumping in and out, slowly for her sake.

"Harry! Harder, yes, harder, oh you're so big, faster." She couldn't help those words as they escaped and he obliged her happily. They were moving a frantic pace now and she could feel herself close to the edge, and Harry was even closer. He couldn't hold on any longer and let go, coming inside her, his warm cum spreading through her. This sent her over the edge and Harry kept pumping for her, as she rode it out. "Harry, that was amazing. Best idea ever." Hermione couldn't help the yawn that interrupted her sentence. She snuggled into Harry, and he put his arm around her and stroked her hair. Harry pulled the blanket over them and they fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- I have realized this story is completely unrealistic. Oh well.

Hermione's eyes opened slightly. It was dark, probably about 3 A.M. She made to get up but realized: 1.) an arm was draped about her waist, holding her down. Harry's arm. 2.) She was naked. On the Quidditch pitch, Unnoticeable Charm notwithstanding. She rolled over so she could look at Harry properly, then noticed their clothes piled neatly on the other side of him. She reached over to grab them, then proceeded to get dressed as best as she could. She gently moved Harry's arm, and kept the blanket covering him.

"Harry!" She whispered, "Wake up you git!" Harry stirred, then rolled over and rubbed his eyes frantically. He rolled over again so he was facing her, then visibly jumped is surprise.

"Merlin!" He wrapped the blankets around him more tightly, "Did we?" Hermione nodded solemnly, thinking Harry regretted his, no, their, decision. "Damn. Well at least that's one to tell the grandkids, eh? Hermione, I'm just kidding." Harry looked around confusedly for a second. "What time is it, 3? Oh bollocks, we have to get back." Hermione made to leave, but then turned to look back, Harry was staring blankly with a slightly wistful expression on his face. Hermione then legged it up to the castle and woke up the very cranky Fat Lady and fell down on to the comfy common room chairs. As she was laying there, she let the memories of last night wash back over her. Harry was, wow. The only word was wow. They were just lucky she had thought to use a silencing charm, unnoticeable charm, and……

"Oh shit." Hermione whispered to herself. She hadn't used a contraceptive charm. That means she could be -

"Hey, er, Hermione can we talk, I guess?" It was Harry. Hermione was so scared, panicked, afraid, any and every emotion. She forced herself to calm down.

"Yeah I think that would be very, uh, good right now." Harry plopped himself down next to her on the couch and leaned his head against her shoulder. Hermione's hands were sweating, her voice close to cracking, but yet again she forced herself to calm down.

"Harry, I have to go first, okay? This is important, really important." She swallowed but her mouth was too dry. "I think we forgot to use a contraceptive charm." Harry picked his head up so fast, Hermione suspected he could have gotten a concussion. His mouth moved open and close for a few seconds, still no words coming out.

"…WHAT!" Harry exclaimed, "You mean you might be -" He gulped, but couldn't say it. "Well, you don't know for sure right? I mean there's like a spell or something or check right? Oh my god…" Hermione was almost ready to cry, "Hermione, I'm sorry I didn't think how you would take this, I'm sorry, I'm selfish it's just - I'm not ready to be a father, you're not ready to be a mother, we just did this to make sure our first times were with people we care about, because I do care about you, a lot. I just…" Now Hermione did start to cry.

"I know the spell," She started, "But you have to be a week along to know. We're going to be out of school by then." Hermione realized she still had no idea what she wanted to do with her life.

"Well, we can get a flat together, with Ron, too, if he wants to. We can live in Diagon Alley, or Hogsmeade, anywhere you want, Hermione. We're still best friends no matter what." Harry realized what he said was entirely true, Hermione still was his best friend. He hugged her and let her cry, until, finally, they both drifted off to sleep.

Hermione woke up for the second time around 8, the day of their graduation. Various students of assorted years were milling about the common room, occasionally shooting glances towards where Harry and Hermione were laying asleep, Hermione on Harry's stomach. Hermione lifted her head up and shook Harry awake.

"Harry!" She said, "Wake up! We have to get dressed." Harry laughed softly, then leaned up to whisper in her ear.

"I though we did that already this morning." He then burst out laughing. Hermione couldn't help but to laugh with him.

"Really, though, we have graduation today. Today is the start of the rest of our lives." Her face fell when she said this, however. Harry looked her in the eye and then hugged her, hard. He got up and then offered his hand to her.

"Come on, Hermione. We'll go through it together. I promise." He smiled at her again, then kissed her cheek softly


	4. Chapter 4

Next week found Hermione snuggled up in the window seat of the trio's new apartment in Diagon Alley. Harry and Ron had gone to check out the new shipment at Quality Quidditch Supplies and buy groceries late afternoon, and Hermione was still getting her room situated. Harry had insisted that she have the largest, and master, bedroom of their comfortable little flat. Her mind was currently wandering just outside the border of innappropriate, remembering the night she had shared with Harry on graduation. She had sex with her best friend Harry. Unprotected sex, and she still didn't know if she was pregnant. Today, Friday, was the last day she had to anxiously wait through until she could perfom the spell.

"Hermione? We're back and we bought your favorite cheddar cheese at the market!" Ron was yelling to her from the kitchen of the flat. Hermione could hear him bustling about and just being busy with the brown bags of groceries she knew he was carrying, and started into the ktchen to help him unpack.

"Ron, did you really have to buy the entire stock of canned pineapples? I mean really, there's only so much tropical you can take..." Harry struggled inside from the dusk with five apparantly full bags of canned pineapples. Hermione rushed to help him so the bags wouldn't break. Once said pineapples were placed safely in the pantry, Harry and Hermoine sat down at the breakfast bar of the kitchen while Ron made the trio chicken salad sandwiches. Hermione couldn't help but notice how Harry's plain jeans did alot to accentuate his nice bum, and how his green shirt brought out his eyes and showed off his lean chest muscles. This, however, brought a blush to her cheeks as she realized she shouldn't be thinking these things about her best friend.

"Hermione? Hello? I said, white or wheat?" Ron was trying, and failing, to get Hermione's attention.

Harry replied for her, "She wants wheat, Ron." Hermione, still lost in her thoughts about Harry and their graduation night, snapped back together when a plate was placed in front of her, chicken salad on her favorite wheat bread. She mumbled her thanks and took the plate into her room and closed the door. She couldn't be distracted by Harry when she had much bigger things to worry about. Those things being her possible pregnancy, and, well, Harry. A soft knock sounded on her door, though she gave it no reply. Harry's head peeked around the partially opened door.

"Are you okay, Hermione? I mean you seemed really out of it back there. Was it something Ron or I said?" Hermione chuckled and shook her head no. "Are you worried about someth - oh. Well I am, too. Obviously not more so than you I mean it's your body, well, not to say I don't share the responsibility or anything, I just..." Harry trailed off helplessly, "I can't get anything right, I can't even talk, let alone be a dad. But I mean we both did this Hermione so we both have the responsibility." Hermione found tears trickling down her face, though she didn't know why. Harry obviously took it as tears of sadness, so he hugged her and kissed the top of her bushy brown head.

"Harry, you didn't do anything wrong. You did everything right, that's why I'm crying." Hermione punctuated this statement with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I could hang out with you tonight, I was gonna go over Fred and George's with Ron, but I can stay with you."

"Harry, you don't have to give up your plans for plain old me."

"I'm finding that I want to spend time with plain old you right now, Miss Granger." Harry smirked at her.

"Well then, Mr. Potter, you should have your head examined by a professional." Hermione grabbed a pillow off of her bed and hit him upside the head with it.

"OH, are we playing games then, Miss Granger?" Harry grabbed her about the waist and started tickling her mercilessly. Hermione shrieked with laughter, because only Harry knew that she was insanely ticklish near her knees and lower back. The two friends proceeded to wrestle with each other but hen quiet down with a movie after Ron had left. They fell asleep on the living room couch, much like they had the morning of graduation.

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Hermione woke to the smell of eggs and bangers frying in the kitchen, but an empty spot beside her on the couch.

"Harry,"She called, "Some of that deliciousness wouldn't happen to be for plain old me, would it?" Harry waltzed in with said eggs and bangers on a plate with a glass of orange juice and set it down in front of her. The eggs were scrambled, the only way she had ever eaten eggs.

"Wake up, Hermione. It's a bright and sunny Saturday morning in June, complete with owls chirping andthe Quibbler on the counter!" Harry produced a copy of the Quibbler from what seemed like nowhere and set it beside her breakfast on the coffee table. Hermione blanched.

"Saturday?" She asked Harry tentatively, "Saturday?" Harry nodded confusedly, then jumped back when Hermione sprang form the couch and ran to the bathroom. She slammed the door and locked it while crazily searching for her wand. "Apparo feti!" She waved her wand over her stomach and counted to ten. Hermione then proceed to collapse the floor in a dead faint as the tip of her wand glowed bright yellow.


	5. Chapter 5

A loud thump resounded from the bathroom across from the kitchen. Harry, still dumbfounded from Hermione's abrupt departure, was left with her untouched plate and her chair still pushed haphazardly away from the table. Harry knew a thump wasn't a necessarily sound so he started towards the locked bathroom.

"Hermione? Are you okay in there? I heard a thump and I thought…" He trailed off as he jiggled the lock open and found an unconscious Hermione sprawled on the floor, her wand glowing a bright yellow next to her on the tile floor. All of this took Harry awhile to register, though when he did, he dropped to the floor next to Hermione, finding she was still breathing, and proceeded to pick her up and carry her to the nearest bedroom, Ron's. Harry laid her still limp form on Ron's bed and gently tried to jostle her awake.

"I'm such a dolt! Am I a wizard or not? Enervate!" Harry mumbled to himself and then pointed his wand at Hermione. She stirred and slowly opened her eyes to look up at him.

She whispered softly to herself, "Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods,"

"What happened? You just ran off from your favorite breakfast and collapsed in the bathroom! And what's with your wand? It's yellow!" Harry was ranting and pacing worriedly when Hermione silenced him with a look.

"The yellow wand means I'm pregnant, Harry," She said softly. Harry stopped pacing. Immediately.

"Y-You're pregnant? _We're_ pregnant? What?!" Harry sank down to the bed next to her, "I'm so sorry Hermione, I have no idea what you're feeling right now but I am _so_ sorry. This is all my fault and -"

"Harry just stop! This isn't your fault; this is both of our faults! We're going to make it work okay? I wasn't planning on this for at least another eight years but it will be okay do you hear me?" Hermione concluded her speech with a sharp exhalation of breath. She fell back on the pillows, exhausted. Shortly after she felt the slight jump of Harry falling back, too. He rolled closer to her until she could feel his breath on her neck.

"I really am sorry, Hermione," He then rolled over so that his back was facing her. Hermione found herself watching the slow rise and fall of his chest from the back, and being lulled into sleep by the rhythmic pattern.

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The sound of the front door slamming shut roused Hermione from her sleep. She was slightly embarrassed to find herself draped over Harry like a blanket. Nevertheless, such was the way Ron found them as he walked into his room around noon.

"Oh you two. In my bed, even, really I thought you both had learned to control those urges!" Ron snickered to himself at his own hilarious joke as he backed out slowly and walked into the kitchen for "brunchinner". No doubt he had been at Kelly, Asha, Jasmine, or Leila's last night. Who knows, maybe the flavor of the week had changed. Hermione disappointedly extracted herself from the big warmth that was her best friend Harry. She rearranged her clothes distractedly and retreated to her own room.


End file.
